Queen Masolo herself, Bad Black real name Shanita Namuyimbwa remains the only Ugandan whose stage name fits like a glove. A self-proclaimed meat seller… retired, at least as far as URA knows, and she is now taking her hustle from the streets to the altar. Yes, Bad Black is officially set to marry her longtime lover, Asha Panda. You know that meme, “leave football before football leaves you”? Clearly, Bad Black framed it above her bed. She gracefully exited the pitch while still a star, and now she is living out one of those Cinderella scripts Nollywood has not yet licensed.
Her pre-wedding shoot already had Ugandans clutching their pearls. The real plot twist is instead of a village kwanjula at her ancestral home in Masooli, Bad Black decided to host a private introduction ceremony and wedding dinner launch at Mezo Noir. Yes, Mezo Noir, the upscale Kampala spot where cocktails cost the same as school fees. The event is strictly by invitation, of course, because you cannot just gatecrash Bad Black’s love story. The announcement was made, naturally, on Snapchat because where else do official state functions happen in Uganda? She promised champagne, wine, cocktails, soda for the savedee squad, and a full three-course dinner. The statement ended with: “Just relax and explore our true love.” And honestly, if there is anyone who can make love sound like a tourism package, it is Bad Black.
Meanwhile, Ugandans are debating; how does one reconcile kwanjula, which is supposed to introduce your husband to your clan, with dinner at Mezo Noir? But then again, Bad Black has never been one for tradition. She is rewriting the script, no tents, no chicken bones in polythene bags, no drunk uncles with unsolicited speeches. Just champagne, curated lighting, and, of course, gossip for the Timeline. Uganda’s very own Queen Masolo has spoken. The rest of us? We will just wait for the Snapchat stories.
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