Our quiet and peaceful neighbours down south; the calm cousin in East Africa’s chaotic family finally went to the polls. Normally, Tanzanians mind their business, speak politely, and only trend online when Diamond Platinumz drops another heartbreak song or Zanzibar is being advertised as Africa’s hidden gem. But this time? The streets of Dar decided to speak, and not in Swahili. In protest. It started as a regular election season until it turned into a Netflix series of Democracy in Dar, The 98 Percent Mystery.

President Samia Suluhu Hassan, Mama Samia to the continent, was declared winner with a smooth 98 percent. Ninety-eight! Bro, even Jesus did not have that approval rating among his disciples. The big question; if everyone voted for her, who exactly is protesting? Videos from the capital showed protests, lockdowns, and soldiers doing cardio. Schools were closed, internet switched off, and Dar looked like a public holiday without permission.

Opposition members? Arrested. Their party, Chadema, banned. Its leader, Tundu Lissu, now on trial for treason a story so familiar, UG almost sent Get Well Soon flowers. The international community, in typical fashion, sent strongly worded statements from air-conditioned offices. The African Union even congratulated her, because apparently, 98 percent democracy is still democracy just… extra cooked. Analysts continue to call the AU a clubhouse for dictators, and honestly, he might be right; because at this point, their WhatsApp group chat must be full of congrats message and emojis.

The irony? In 2021 when she succeeded Magufuli the Bulldozer himself, everyone thought Tanzania was turning a new leaf. She freed opposition leaders, allowed rallies, and loosened media laws. Fast-forward, and some say Mama Samia has gone from bulldozer repairer to bulldozer driver.

Now, Tanzanians are out on the streets. The same people who once taught us patience and peace. Things must be truly bad. Imagine Kenyans offering to send consultants in advanced protesting techniques. Peace has expired, guys. But seriously, 98 percent? That is the kind of mark you get when the teacher loves you or when the exam key leaks. Even the Presidents’ WhatsApp group must have been shocked “Eh Mama, 98percent? No room for suspense!”