Almost three months in Uganda and I have learned a few things…
1.The world record for how many humans can fit on a boda boda (motorcycle taxi) is attempted daily. My personal record witnessed: six.
2.Ninety four percent of boda speedometers and fuel gauges are broken. These riders are living Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer – every day.
3.If you see a man standing against a wall with his back turned…he is not praying. And for the love of all things holy, do not walk up and try to shake his hand.
- Juicy Fruit’s active ingredient? Jackfruit. Every bit as sticky as gum.
- If you order a beer, you will be asked if you want it cold. My advice: say yes. Ugandan beer needs all the help it can get.
- The way I wave actually means “come here.” Which is fine until the neighbourhood kids think the strange-looking mzungu is luring them closer like a shady van guy.
- Kampala weather reports are useless. Expect sunshine, but always pack an umbrella.
- When it rains, the power company shuts down the grid as a “preventive measure.” I have not asked what is being prevented. I would rather not know.
- You can get anything delivered on a 100–150cc motorcycle within 30 minutes: rebar, dog food, a live goat…or that cold beer you wisely ordered.
- Ugandans are among the most entrepreneurial people I have ever met. Everyone wants to work (hard), and everyone has a side hustle.
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