#RoadTo2026: Next week, you will be meeting different supporters, different camps. You should know what each ka-party or ki-party stands for. It is election season, and whatever the case, remember it is not that serious. Be safe…
This is not a serious political analysis, and it is not trying to be. It is a practical, tongue-in-cheek guide to surviving Uganda’s election week the only way Ugandans know how; by adapting, camouflaging, listening to boda wisdom, and laughing through the madness (oh there will be madness). Ian Ortega lays out 10 unwritten rules for navigating slogans, security moods, social media chaos, and personal relationships… without losing your mind. This is a reminder that sometimes, the best survival skill in Uganda is knowing that it is never that serious.
Ian Ortega
Mbu you can tell a lot about a society based on the things it worships, and the people it praises. Mbu, there is a reason Chameleone remains the most adored artiste by the Amin-era generation. Mbu that should tell you something. Mbu if you want to enjoy this Uganda, you ought to copy a ka-thing or two from that lanky artiste. Chameleone can be anything, and anywhere at the same time. ‘Therefore’ – Remember that voice during the Covid-19 lockdowns? Therefore, since the uncoordinated forces have learnt to deal with the citizens without mercy, the citizens must become miniatures of Chameleone. But that said, here is a ka rulebook for surviving through next week’s elections.
Rule One: If you think you understand Uganda, you are beginning to misunderstand it
No one understands Uganda. The moment you think it is all making sense, that is when it will stop making sense. Mbu Uganda is a mystery. Even the government sometimes gets shocked at how things work
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