Ever wondered what your favourite people do away from the socials; which song they secretly listen to while driving, who is up on their know-who list, etc? In this section, Gloria Haguma gets personal and a little nosy with media personality Canary Mugume. No filter, no script, just a peek into his untapped side.

You have Asan Kasingye, Frank Gashumba, Simon Kasyate, and Samson Kasumba out on a wild boys’ night. Who is picking the tab and who is sneaking away first?

I suspect AIGP would pick the tab. I mean, he is a retired high-ranking officer, a CEO, and he looks like someone who would not mind paying. Samson would surely sneak away first. He looks like the kind of person who would say he needs to sleep by 11pm.

It is 2026 and the Internet is off (wild thought, right?). What hobby are you picking up to pass time?

I would listen more and engage in conversations. We are always glued to our screens, but during the ban, our phones were practically useless. It made it easier to actually talk to people.

During the Internet shutdown, were you also “off” like the rest of us mere mortals, or did you have a secret VIP WiFi pass?

There was no secret WiFi pass, but some of us were online somehow. The entire country was on lockdown, but those of us who took our IT classes seriously knew how to get around it. Plus, no one said it was criminal… hahaha.

Did you try explaining the Internet ban on live TV, or was it too wild even for you?

It was too wild for me. There was a lot going on, and we did not even have space to talk about the Internet ban. People were more interested in the numbers coming in and who was winning.

If UCC decided that the Internet would never return, what is the subject line of the letter you are writing to Nyombi Thembo?

“This is not 1850!”

Which Ugandan artiste’s music do you secretly blast when no one’s watching?

Lydia Jazmine. If I were asked to pull up my playlist at a house party, I would not bring that one out. But when I am alone or driving, that is what I stream. For house parties, I am pulling out Elijah Kitaka, Joshua Baraka or A Pass.

What is the wildest thing you have had to report on in the field that made you question your life choices?

I left my one-month-old baby to go to the frontline in Ukraine, and I did not know whether I was being passionate or just an irresponsible father. The trip was risky. I could not even find an insurance company in Uganda to cover it.

I had to get one in Nairobi because they considered it a high-risk country.

Ever had a moment where you almost became the news story instead of reporting it?

Around 2021, when one of Robert Kyagulanyi’s supporters, Ziggy Wine, died in a motorcycle accident, I was the only journalist who went on the ground to verify whether he was killed by the State or died in the accident. I found out it was indeed an accident and even spoke to eyewitnesses. But no one believed it. International news agencies were reporting that he had been tortured and had his eyes plucked out.

When I reported what I found, I became the story. People accused me of being used by the State to cover up their actions. That is where the famous “tape measure” phrase came from. It was a very dramatic experience.

If the just-concluded elections were like a reality show, what would be the most dramatic twist this season?

If I were writing the script, I would appoint Bobi Wine Vice President, like a power-sharing agreement.

What is something you have changed your mind about as you have grown older?

Growing up and stepping into journalism, I always wanted to prove people wrong and protect my reputation. As I get older though, I am more focused on clarity of issues. That matters more than reputation.

How do you feel when you walk into a room and get absolutely no attention whatsoever?

It is very weird and very rare. But when I am out of the country, it happens a lot, and I actually enjoy it. I can be myself without worrying about being watched or judged.

If you had not left the village, what would you be famous for ku kaalo…besides having four wives and three concubines?

I would probably be one of those rebel villagers, constantly arguing with the village chairman. If aliens landed right now in this city, sell Uganda to them in one minute.

Does Uganda even need to be sold when we are still switching off the internet in 2026?

Surely no one would want to buy that.

If you had a chance to meet Putin or Trump, what is one uncomfortable question you are asking them?

“Why do you need war, yet you know how destructive it is?”

If today were your last day on earth, how are you spending it?

With my children, family, and close friends, appreciating how much they have added to my life. I would remind them that the things we think matter, such as cars, fame and money really don’t when the end comes.

If you suddenly lost your voice or face card and could not be on TV or radio, what is your plan B?

I would be a film director. No, scratch that. I would become a magician. I love mystery, and magic is all about that.

What’s the most random “Oliwa” call you remember todate?

Last year, when I was critically ill and had been out of office for a month, I responded to an “Oliwa” call. I stepped out of bed and went out, partly because I needed some fresh air.

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