When minister Chris Baryomunsi cleared his throat and stepped before the microphones as per tradition, he probably hoped to calm the nation, reassure a few people, and go home for lunch. Instead, he accidentally auditioned for Fred Enanga’s job, the Ministry of Health, and family court, all in one sitting. Multitasking, if nothing else, is his spiritual gift.
The issue was serious. Dr Kizza Besigye has now spent more than a year in Luzira without trial, and naturally, Ugandans were concerned about his health. The nation leaned in, expecting gravity. What we got instead was a diagnosis , a minor case of diarrhoea. Not serious. Treated. Managed. Case closed. According to the [not so honourable] minister, Besigye is fine, comfortable, watching TV, receiving visitors, and this part was important… fit to remain in jail. Uganda paused. Blinked. Laughed. Then screamed. Then laughed harder. A few people cried too, just to balance the emotions.
Imagine a country where detention without trial gets five rushed words, but diarrhoea receives a full PowerPoint presentation. Naturally, the timeline erupted. Memes flew faster than MTN bundles during the VPN era. Things escalated when the minister casually added that Besigye’s wife was not listed as his next of kin, calling it an internal family matter. That is when Ugandans sat up properly. Since when did the Minister for ICT become a marriage counsellor, prison tour guide, and medical doctor in one press conference?
And just when we thought he was done, he added seasoning. Bobi Wine, he said, should stop hiding and stop the drama. The government knows where he is and is not pursuing him. Which, of course, raised the obvious question; if you know where someone is and you are not pursuing them, why announce it publicly? Is this reassurance or a soft reminder? Baryomunsi has perfected the art of annoying Ugandans. He is consistent. Relentless. Almost admirable in his commitment to saying the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time.
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