Just when you thought fake friendships were strictly a TikTok and Snapchat problem, our senior citizens decided to remind us that age does not come with maturity only louder microphones. The elders are now going band for band, not with music, but with accusations. We did not ask for this, but since you are here anyway, allow us to formally introduce the main characters: Frank Ssenyondo Francis though for national peace we shall stick to the stage name Frank M. Gashumba and Kalungu West MP, Hon. Joseph Ssewungu.

I honestly thought we had retired public verbal exchanges. I thought disputes now went straight to the ring like respectable old men, gloves on, dignity off. But no, senior citizens chose radio. Hon. Ssewungu woke up one morning and decided peace was overrated. Speaking to Adam Kungu, the MP casually alleged that Frank Gashumba is a thief. When asked politely to relax and retract, he doubled down like a man who had waited years for this moment. He added fraudster to the list for balance and spice. Then, like a proud godfather, he announced, “I have got him out of prison three times.”

Now, allegations are allegations until evidence clocks in. But Ugandans listening were left with one important question: why would you remain friends with someone you claim is a professional criminal? According to Ssewungu, their fathers were friends, they come from the same area.  From an independent observer’s seat, this entire saga raises serious questions about what exactly Frank Gashumba does for a living. For years, he has branded himself as a successful entrepreneur allergic to elective politics. In 2015, he famously said he earns enough to stay out of Parliament. Which is fair some people earn money, others earn noise.

Ssewungu also claimed Gashumba was close to the late Speaker Jacob Oulanyah not out of friendship, but paid political loyalty using Facebook posts as verbal grenades against Rebecca Kadaga. If true, this would shock those who thought Frank’s opinions were powered by passion, not mobile money.

Gashumba, never one to lose a microphone battle, responded by announcing his wealth like a walking bank statement: UGX 240 million on his introduction, UGX 1.2 billion chilling in his account, and 80% of MPs allegedly unqualified to be his personal assistant. Flexing is now evidence.

Add Bebe Cool versus Hon. Nsereko to the mix, and it becomes clear: Ugandans have mastered the art of speaking without saying anything. Let us call it noise loud, confident, and very well funded.

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